S5 E15: Secrets to Building Rapport Quickly

Ren Jones (00:05):
It’s that time. Welcome to Roadmap. How to take three Listings a week until you’re ready for more. Each week we interview a great agent who’s consistently taking 2, 3, 4 listings a week, and we have an exciting guest today. We encourage you to take notes and apply as much of their knowledge as quickly as you can, and then use the copy cat principle. Let me introduce my co-host from San Diego, Carley Hathaway. That’s carleyhathaway.com. Hi, Carley. How the real estate business?

Carley Hathaway (00:37):
Hey, Ren. Hey, everybody, always real estate’s great. I really have no complaints. Always a good time to be a listing agent for sure.

Ren Jones (00:45):
Good. I want to remind everybody that we’re simulcasting the show in the private lead gen Facebook group. They have 52,000 members, so we have a large audience there today as well. And we will be pausing for a message, commercial message during the show as a thank you to the lead gen folks. Well, guess what, Carley? I’m my own guest today.

Carley Hathaway (01:04):
Hey, I could not ask for a better guest to be honest with you.

Ren Jones (01:08):
There you go. And we’re going to be talking about building rapport quickly. It’s an important thing for a lot of our agents out there, a hundred percent of them to build quick rapport quickly because they’re the people you know and the people you don’t know. One group is bigger, and to build rapport quickly is a challenge for a lot of people.

(01:26):
Maybe it’s an expired listing, maybe it’s a for sale owner. Maybe it’s somebody you’re met for the first time in a social setting. Maybe it’s somebody you’ve been introduced to. We have like 12 seconds to build rapport and there’s a high failure rate there. And in sales we get better and better and better and better at it. There’s certain lines that we commonly use in our industry that, agents that have been in the business a long time really get good at.

Carley Hathaway (01:56):
Okay.

Ren Jones (01:57):
And they pull out. I mean, your calling expireds and for sale by owners, right?

Carley Hathaway (02:02):
Correct. Yes, I am.

Ren Jones (02:02):
You’re talking to strangers every day.

Carley Hathaway (02:05):
Yep.

Ren Jones (02:05):
So are you getting better at building rapport?

Carley Hathaway (02:08):
I am getting better at building rapport, but I must say I’m much better at building rapport face-to-face when I meet someone in the social setting. It’s very easy for me. Over the phone, it’s a little tougher. I’m going to be honest, especially calling the expireds when I know they’ve gotten some other phone calls. So yeah, what do you suggest? What do you think? How can I better build that rapport in the two, three minutes I’m on the phone with them?

Ren Jones (02:31):
Okay. So-

Carley Hathaway (02:32):
Especially with expireds.

Ren Jones (02:33):
All right. So we’ll talk about those first, then we’ll talk about some of the other types of people and settings and even face-to-face. So one of the things that gets a lot of sellers angry is if they hear the, and I hate to say this because these scripts work so well. If 19 people call and say, “When do you plan on interviewing the right agent for the job of selling your home?” They start noticing that one. They notice that line. Something about the right agent.

(03:03):
So we have to be real careful about not sounding completely identical. And I understand the scripts work, and if you’re one of the first ones calling, in fact, I like that better. Always be the first one to call, or the second or the third, not the 19th. Number one. So you get a rapport a lot better that way. Otherwise, you’ve got to sound genuine. That’s a kind of a trick. What do you experience when you’re calling people? How do you come across as genuine?

Carley Hathaway (03:29):
I think that’s a tough one because obviously we’re making so many phone calls and we’re trying to get through it to get the listing appointment. But I think internalizing the scripts and making them your own is really helpful because you add your own kind of, not slang, but your own words to it.

Ren Jones (03:47):
Okay. So would it be fair to say doing a role play every morning before you go live?

Carley Hathaway (03:54):
100%. Yes.

Ren Jones (03:55):
Okay.

Carley Hathaway (03:55):
And it kind of shocks you into-

Ren Jones (03:57):
It makes a difference.

Carley Hathaway (03:58):
Yeah, it makes a huge difference.

Ren Jones (03:59):
Then you don’t have to think about what you’re saying.

Carley Hathaway (04:01):
Exactly. Exactly. And then you can also-

Ren Jones (04:03):
Instead of an, “And, um, and, um.” Pardon?

Carley Hathaway (04:04):
Yeah, and you can also actually listen to what they’re saying rather than getting ready to say your next sentence.

Ren Jones (04:10):
Great, great, great. So let’s look at a few basics. Write these down folks, or do this, move your arm. Pretend like you’re writing them down. Either one’s fine, but I would suggest writing them down unless you have a hundred percent perfect AI memory.

(04:24):
So we want to mirror and match their tonality, rate of speech, things like that. And we don’t have much of a clue. We are going by hello. Now, there are so many different hellos. One of the things that works really well is to echo back the exact same one to try to create a little attunement. So if they go, “Hello,” then you’re going to be, “Hello.” Or if they go, “Hello?” You’re going to be, “Hello.” That’s going to help you get on their wavelength because people, you’re going to feel like part of, they’re going to feel your part of the tribe.

(05:01):
Maybe it’s their sister or their mother or their daughter, or whatever it may be. You sound like the family. So you want to mirror and match their tone, their rate of speech, at least for the first 10, 15, 20 seconds. You need to come in a little bit closer to them, mirroring and matching as much as possible. Mimicking, not mocking, mimicking. A little different. We’re not trying to embellish.

(05:30):
So you want to get as close to that as possible. That helps more than people know. The other thing is we have to put in some pauses, and that’s not easy. Think about it, Carley. When you get somebody on the phone who’s an expired, do you really want to… I mean, is it a natural inclination to want to start saying something and then pause for a second?

Carley Hathaway (05:54):
No. And in fact, that was one of the hardest things I had to learn when I was using these scripts, because I’m a fast talker as it is. And when someone does answer, you want to power through to get what you need to say out really fast. But then it takes away just them listening to you and taking you seriously and you being an authority.

Ren Jones (06:16):
Right. And when you pause, there’s curiosity. Carley such a beautiful home, I’m scratching my head. I go, “What do you think stopped this home from selling?” So I pause a little bit, I hesitate, I go, I even restart my words. It sounds like a real sentence. Instead of saying, “Such a nice looking home. What do you think stopped it from selling?” Instead of just rattling that off, I sound like a real person.

Carley Hathaway (06:44):
Totally agree. And what helped me with that in the beginning when I switched scripts and started using a different one is I highlighted where the pause should be. And whenever I saw something highlighted, I would count to three in my head. And that helps you to slow down or there’s other little tricks, but that’s what helped me.

Ren Jones (07:00):
Right. And we have to practice. We have to practice. We have to role play and role play and role play and get feedback and record yourself.

Carley Hathaway (07:08):
Mm-hmm.

Ren Jones (07:09):
Now there’s something.

Carley Hathaway (07:10):
Yeah.

Ren Jones (07:11):
Record yourself. Have you done that yet?

Carley Hathaway (07:12):
I have. And I didn’t realize how much I used to say like and um. So much.

Ren Jones (07:18):
Oh, I always noticed that.

Carley Hathaway (07:19):
Why didn’t you tell me?

Ren Jones (07:24):
I’m just kidding. Just kidding. Yeah. Watch our first shows. No kidding. Just kidding. Just kidding.

Carley Hathaway (07:28):
But definitely recording has helped me so much and still. I’m still doing it. It helps.

Ren Jones (07:34):
Okay. So one of the things you said a minute ago is sounding like the authority, which reminds me, downswings.

Carley Hathaway (07:44):
Yes. A downswing.

Ren Jones (07:46):
A downswing. Ending on a downswing. Yes. So upswings create doubt. Downswings create certainty. So if I say, “Carley, the cats outside?”

Carley Hathaway (08:00):
Yeah. It sounds like a question.

Ren Jones (08:01):
It’s doubt. Carley, the cat’s outside. Certainty. So as we talk in downswings, there’s an authority and people respond in kind. They feel safer. They feel like you know what you’re talking about. Makes a big difference. Makes a big difference.

Carley Hathaway (08:19):
I agree.

Ren Jones (08:21):
So as we practice, our listening skills go up, as we use downswings, as we mirror and match, then we can get in a matter of seconds.

Carley Hathaway (08:29):
Yeah. So I have a question for you. So when we’re mirror and matching them, say you can tell they’re upset or frustrated, so you start to mirror and match them. And then how do you slowly start to change that? You know what I mean?

Ren Jones (08:43):
Right, right. So it’s called pacing and leading. So you pace with them where they’re like, “Yeah, those agents are…”

(08:51):
And you’re like, “I know. It’s not fair. It makes no sense at all. Some of them are just ridiculous, aren’t they?”

(08:56):
“Yes, they are. I agree.” and then you start gradually leading with positivity and enthusiasm gradually, just like if you and I were walking down the street and I started walking a little faster, you keep up with me. So all of a sudden if you’re leading with a little bit of enthusiasm, all of a sudden they start feeling better about themselves. They start feeling better because you’re enthusiastic. They’re following you with enthusiasm, and then they’re starting to feel good and they attribute it to you.

Carley Hathaway (09:23):
Okay, good advice. I like that.

Ren Jones (09:25):
Yeah. So it’s a transition. It’s a gradual transition. You don’t want to stay in mirror and match. You want to start leading with a little bit of enthusiasm gradually and they will follow you.

Carley Hathaway (09:38):
Yes. Okay.

Ren Jones (09:38):
And then you win. And so then they’re telling you, “Well, our agent never stayed in touch and they’re like…” And so instead of saying, well, instead of saying, “Well, I do,” or, “That’s me,” or, “I want an agent who’s going to do…” “That’s me,” or, you don’t say that. We say instead write this down, folks. “I’m glad we’re talking,” because when you say, “I’m glad we’re talking, gosh, I’m glad we’re talking.” It means that’s me. That’s me. I’m glad we’re talking. And that works really well.

(10:13):
The other thing I wanted to touch on while we’re here on this short show, but very important show in building rapport is saying the right things. Because with our database their people we know. You may have 100, 200, 300. Some of you have been in the business 500, 600, 800. And I’m not talking about people that you liked three years ago on your Facebook that have no idea who you are, but people that you know. They’re going to be a few hundred.

(10:39):
When you’re in conversations with them, and then they’re going to ask you about real estate or you might want to say something to them. And we notice this. In the first year or two, agents will go around and go, “Well, if you ever know anybody that wants to buy or sell keep me in mind.” How effective is that? It’s not, so put an X over that one.

(11:02):
And then after a while agents will say, “Do you know anybody that wants to buy or sell?” That’s a yes or no question. Put an X over that one. Instead, we use, and folks, everybody write this down or move your arm. Pretend you’re writing it down. “Who do you know? Who do you know that I can help?” Always coming in service.

(11:24):
“Who do you know that I can help? Either buy a home or sell a home, or perhaps buy some investment property? Who do you know, not do you know? Not, “If you ever know, keep me in mind.” Forget all that other stuff. “Who do you know that I can help?” So write down who do you know that I can help? Either buy a home or sell a home, or perhaps buy some investment property. When we change that, people are looking around their head for the answer.

Carley Hathaway (11:50):
Yeah, I agree. Because people do want to help people at the end of the day, especially if you ask for help, they want to help you.

Ren Jones (11:56):
Right. So then the last thing I wanted to mention is the question that people say, because they’ll come up and they’ll go, “Carley, how’s real estate?” Because we get those questions all the time. They know you’re in the business, right? “How’s the real estate business, Carley?”

Carley Hathaway (12:08):
It’s great.

Ren Jones (12:09):
Or they’ll say, “How’s real estate? How’s real estate?” And then the best answer is something along the line go, “Well, gosh, Carley, that depends. Are you buying or selling? Are you thinking about buying, selling, or investing?” Okay, now you got a real conversation going.

Carley Hathaway (12:26):
I like that.

Ren Jones (12:26):
Now you might say, well, “I’m just curious,” and say, “That’s great.” But you might say, “Well, I was thinking about selling my house one day.” Then you go, “Well, let me tell you,” and now you’re into a better conversation. So that depends. Are you thinking about buying or selling or maybe investing? So it’s a better question.

Carley Hathaway (12:51):
Yeah, I like that.

Ren Jones (12:52):
So hopefully, folks, some of these things will help. So write this down, keep the list. This is about building rapport quickly and selling a few extra homes every month. So anyway, I want to thank everybody for being here. Carley, thanks for joining me on the show as our great co-host as always.

Carley Hathaway (13:13):
Yeah, it was fun. I really got a lot out of this. Building rapport is so important and I think we forget about it, so really great tips today.

Ren Jones (13:21):
Good. Good, good, good. Well, I want to thank everybody for watching. And if you’re watching on Facebook or if you want to get involved with the Facebook group that airs our show as well there at facebook.com/groups/gotobjections. And I want to thank Aaron Wittenstein, who runs his program trajectorynow.com.

(13:42):
And finally, if you’re watching on Facebook and you want to get involved with Vulcan seven, make sure to sign up at vulcan7.com/leadgen for a special deal. And finally, the secret to listing a lot of property is after you’ve made all your calls talked to, as you do, Carley.

Carley Hathaway (14:02):
Yes.

Ren Jones (14:03):
You had a huge month last month and this month too, right? Where you’ve got a few closings.

Carley Hathaway (14:07):
Yeah, this month I just closed two, this month already.

Ren Jones (14:10):
Alrighty. All right. And man, those are some big paychecks in San Diego commissions, let me tell you, so and Carley’s secret, Carley’s secret, what she does is she goes to either the Whole Foods area or Seaside market up in Cardiff-by-the-Sea. They have a big selection as well. But you can get it all over North America. If you’re listing property, you want to enjoy Graeter’s mint chocolate chip, right after you’ve done your lead gen, get the delicious mint chocolate chip. It’s the one for listings.

(14:38):
If you’re working with buyers, that’s some of the other flavors there. But get the mint chocolate chip if the listing is a little slow to sell, like that one you had over in, where was that? That was-

Carley Hathaway (14:49):
Oh, East County.

Ren Jones (14:51):
There you go over in East County. Dig a little hole in the ground and bury it upside down and that listing will sell just like that.

Carley Hathaway (14:58):
Yes.

Ren Jones (14:59):
Isn’t that right?

Carley Hathaway (15:00):
Yes, 100%.

Ren Jones (15:02):
All righty, we’ll see you next week, everybody.

Carley Hathaway (15:05):
Thanks, everybody. Have a great day.

Ren Jones (15:07):
You too. Bye-Bye.